raising a teenager

Raising a teenager is one of the most challenging jobs you will face. It is also one of the most important moments of their lives. It is so imperative that you begin to recognize that they are not just teenagers, they are pre-adults and if you treat them with the right amount of acknowledgment and respect, they will rebel. This is when more dangerous and challenging behaviors develop.

It’s important to realize that unlike other stages of your child’s life, you are laying the foundation for their adulthood. They should learn some decision-making skills and start making some adult decisions. While still under parental protection.

decision maker

It is important that they are responsible for their decisions and they must understand that every decision they make has good and bad consequences.

The rules must be concise

Parents need to make concise rules with clear consequences. By the age of 20, the brain is fully developed, so before their brains they still have to grow. They live in the moment when adults can look ahead to weigh their actions against the effect of the decisions they make. My 17-year-old daughter is a prime example of this. She and her friends got ready for the night and within 15 minutes of leaving, her plans can change 3-4 times. All it takes is for another friend to come up with a “better idea.”

When your kids are two and three years old, you learn to pick your battles. Not all battles are worth it and tantrums are not worth it. The same is true when it comes to a teenager. Make sure it’s worth fighting for, and as far as tantrums go, you haven’t seen a thing until you stop your teen from doing something “every other kid” is doing.

Don’t overreact to everything. They need your strong gifts that they know they can count on. They need to know that they can trust you to be there for them even when they don’t think they need you. They need to know that no matter what, they have their back. They’re going to make a lot of mistakes, but try to remember that you were their age once and you made mistakes. We cannot prevent them from making mistakes and there are times when they need to make them to learn. Good decisions have positive consequences; bad decisions have negative consequences.

Set a good example by following the law to the extent possible. If you break the law, even what you consider “just stretching it or saying the law is stupid”, you are showing your disrespect for authority. A perfect example would be “the law says teens with a provisional license can’t drive after 8:00 p.m. You think that’s a stupid law and let your kid drive home after a game that ended at 8:30 p.m. p.m”. You’ve just taught them that if the law doesn’t seem to benefit them, it’s okay to go against it, even a little. Don’t send that kind of message to your children.

deal breaker

There are make-or-break factors in your teen’s life. Natural consequences for underage drinking and breaking the law are not appropriate. These things are simply not acceptable and can be dangerous. You should stop these kinds of behaviors as soon as you notice these things coming up.