Fact # 1: Certain discussion topics are best developed with a little planning, especially sensitive and emotional topics.

Fact # 2: When it comes to your marriage or relationship, you are likely to overlook Fact # 1.

Let me make the following assumption: When you are at your workplace, you pay particular attention to how you talk to others. I am right? You would probably never dream of telling your boss that he looks like hell one morning, even if he’s late, with his shirt unbuttoned and his eyes red.

Tact, sensitivity, and effective communication are hallmarks of nurturing your business relationships. Let’s face it, you probably wouldn’t have a job for long if you didn’t make the effort to monitor your emotional reactions and choose your words wisely with your coworkers and bosses. Don’t take my word for it: If you’re in the mood to be unemployed, the next time your boss frustrates you, shake your fist and say, “Don’t you dare speak to me in that tone of voice! I’d rather work for Papa Smurf.”

Fact # 3: The touch you use at work doesn’t automatically carry over to your marriage.

Are you more likely to “be yourself” when you are with your partner? You know, put aside all those pretensions that you carry at work. It is important to have a sense of freedom and not have to worry about being “on” all the time, and your partner will only be able to know his true self if he drops the mask that he needs to wear in other areas of his life. However, this does not mean that you should not live consciously to be a compassionate and sensitive partner.

Monitoring every nuance of how you communicate is unrealistic and unnecessary. But what about bringing home some of the skills you use at work? If that strengthened your relationship and made your partner happier, would it be worth it for you? If so, these tips may be helpful to you, especially when talking about sensitive and highly emotional topics (as these are the times when we are most vulnerable and therefore most likely to get hurt).

5 tips for discussing sensitive topics with your partner:

1. Think in advance about the points you would like to make.

Ask yourself: What is my goal and what would I like to achieve?

Imagine the desired result and use it as a reference point to help you stay focused.

2. Examine your motives.

Be honest with yourself about why you feel it is important for your partner to hear this message. Are your motives selfish, fueled by anger, or will your message benefit the greater good of the relationship? Resolving this before attempting sensitive conversation can help you avoid pitfalls that can sink your attempts to communicate.

3. The essay is very useful.

When you have a clear idea of ​​the points you would like to make, rehearse what you want to say. You can practice in front of a mirror or with a supportive friend. Imagine that you are having the actual discussion and anticipate your partner’s reactions. Edit all accusatory and critical language.

4. Listen to yourself.

To really improve your speaking skills, record your side of the conversation and listen to it multiple times.

Listening to yourself can give you a better idea of ​​your communication style and an idea of ​​where improvements are needed; you will be amazed at what you can learn with this method. Imagine how your partner will react while listening to the tape.

5. Plan to stay on topic.

Jumping off topic causes confusion and a defensive attitude. It usually occurs when emotions escalate and feelings get hurt. If your partner brings up another problem to make their point, acknowledge their feelings and then tactfully return to the problem you are trying to solve.

These tips can go a long way toward improving your effectiveness as a communicator when you have time to plan a sensitive discussion. Being part of an intimate relationship means having to deal with intense feelings and conflicts. To prevent these conversations from spiraling out of control, it will be important to have a strategy and skills on hand to help you get through these high-intensity conversations. After all, isn’t your marriage worth the same effort that you put into your relationships at work?