I think we ladies have a bad reputation. If we’re old school, June Cleaver, kind of a woman… people will say we’re too soft to command respect. If we are tough and stubborn, we are described as cold if the person is nice… bitches if they are not. Check out this Bnet.com article, titled “Office Politics for Strong Women: How to Be Assertive and Likeable.” She talks about the one thing women need to do to be assertive and still be able to chat with their coworkers at the water cooler.

What is that thing?

Being able to self-control at a high level.

Well, I’m sure you’re thinking… what does it mean that mean?

Here is a quote from the article: Women who could “self-control” and regulate their so-called “masculine” behavior, changing their chameleon-like demeanor from aggressive and confident to using a more traditionally feminine approach, fared better. Better even than aggressive males.

The author goes on to say that these chameleon ladies got more raises and were more liked than women who couldn’t navigate as well between their more masculine and traditionally feminine traits.

How can we use this information?

• Talk to your players about this! Imagine if your athletes can walk this tightrope and start to feel comfortable negotiating salaries and standing up for themselves. They’ll start with a higher pay grade at a younger age…and that will pay dividends down the road as they continue to move up the ladder. Remember, an important part of our job is to prepare our athletes for the future.
• Use this tip yourself. If you pride yourself on being a tough cookie, but your players aren’t comfortable with you and your coworkers shy away from your office… maybe you need to relax a bit. It’s not being soft, it’s being adaptable. That’s a genderless trait!
• Share this tactfully with those who might use it. I think that says it all. Have you ever met someone and thought, how did her friends let her out of the house dressed like that? I think the same goes for interpersonal skills. If you have a friend who is holding himself back through his interactions with those around him, he finds a good way to talk about this article or study.

I think it’s good news that through self-regulation we can advance our professions. Hurrah!