On the island of St. Kitts in the Caribbean, I once saw a sign in a tourist shop that read: “Imagination equips us to see a reality that we have yet to create.” This can be interpreted in two ways: you can use your imagination to exaggerate your fear and increase your physiological response (as most of us do automatically), or you can use your imagination to help solve problems.

This is exactly what imagination can do: help you create a specific event or reality to cope with your great loss. We constantly think in images. You have the choice to image the way you know you need to deal with death and all the changes it demands. Replaying and rehearsing the images, and seeing yourself facing new challenges, is a powerful motivating force in dealing with complaints.

Here are some examples of how to use your imagination to cope with loss.

1. If you have unfinished business with the deceased, use your imaginative faculty to seek forgiveness. Find a quiet place and imagine your loved one sitting across from you. See him in his favorite outfit. Tell the person exactly how you feel. Say you’re sorry or say sorry, or both.

2. If you are looking forward to meeting friends or relatives you haven’t seen for a long time, create the meeting scene in your mind. Try out different ways you want to greet them and specifically the words or phrases you’ll use. Say the words out loud as if they are all in front of you.

3. Use your imagination to create a setting to relax and reduce stress. You can imagine being in a peaceful natural environment, hearing birds, seeing butterflies, and smelling honeysuckle. Or you can imagine the muscles in your body giving up their tension like a rubber band that has been stretched and is slowly being released.

The power of your creativity can help you relax wherever you are. Practice remembered peace. Those images will directly affect your body.

4. Begin each morning by imagining the one thing you want to deal with on that particular day. If you have a task or obligation that you are not looking forward to, practice how you will do it, what you will say to yourself, the attitude you will assume, and see how you carry it out with minimal discomfort.

5. Use your imagination to reach a goal you have to cope with your loss. Define the goal whatever it is (such as getting through a particular day). Then collect information about how you will work to achieve it and leave it up to your imagination. Rehearse the specific behaviors you will employ.

6. Imagine a tradition you would like to start to honor your loved one. For a particular anniversary or holiday, decide how you will recognize and honor it. This could be monthly or yearly or on all holidays, whatever your desire. For example, you might plan to eat out as a celebration, take a trip, or have a family outing. Use your imagination to discover the many possibilities of making tradition.

7. Use your imagination to deal with worries. If you know that you are going to worry about certain problems that are going to come up, plan to deal with that worry beforehand. Who should you be with to share your concern? What will you do if your worry comes true? How would you handle the worst case? Create your worry reduction strategy, practice it internally, and then let it go and get on with your homework.

8. If you have a dream about your loved one (as many do), find a time later in the day when you can relax and return to the dream. View all the details of the dream. Talk to your loved one as you would if the dream were happening now. Say what you feel. Ask questions and wait for answers. Say thanks or I love you. See the results of your dream coming out in a positive and inspiring way.

9. Imagine how you will cope the first time you find yourself in a situation where your loved one would normally have been with you. Imagine how you would like to deal with him, where he will be, who will be there and what he will say. Once again, take an assertive stance, seeing yourself coping well with the situation. And create more than one answer to use.

In short, you can use your imagination in many ways to create a better future and improve the quality of life. Follow this effective four-step routine: set a goal, make a plan using your imagination, take action (practice, rehearse, and then do it), and be persistent. Persistent belief in what you are doing will make what you have planned happen.

Let your imagination positively influence your unconscious, provide you with new ideas, and you will surely overcome your dark night. Make the decision now to consciously use your imagination, which Einstein said long ago is “more important than knowledge.”