This is an unofficial survey that I have used in family and community relations courses. It’s a quick way to find out which love languages ​​you prefer. You can also answer from your partner’s point of view and gain new understanding to improve your relationship. Don’t forget to pick up one of Dr. Gary Chapman’s books.

Try the survey:

Give yourself 2 points if it applies all the time, 1 point if it applies sometimes, and 0 points if it never applies.

GIFTS

An unexpected gift can keep me walking on air for days.

I’d rather receive a small, thoughtful gift than an extravagant compliment

Only me love receiving gifts, or even gifts

I’d rather receive a reward than a standing ovation.

Remembering birthdays and anniversaries is very important to me.

I put a lot of effort and consideration into getting the right gift for the people I care about.

I am very excited to organize parties and special events for others.

It really hits me when someone puts in a lot of effort to make or find the perfect gift for me.

I keep trinkets because they were given to me by special people or as mementos of special events.

It really depresses me when I don’t get presents on holidays and on my birthday.

Score: / 20

QUALITY TIME

I like to share hobbies or work projects with others.

I like spending time with people, one on one or in a group.

I feel lonely if I can’t spend time with the people I care about

I enjoy working as part of a team

I am a ‘people person’ – I like company

I like to get together with people to play or watch sports.

I feel hurt when others exclude me or do not involve me in activities

I show people I care by being with them.

I feel comfortable enough just to be with others in silence.

In times of trouble, just being there is what matters.

Score: / 20

PRIZE

A kind word can keep me going for a long time.

Honesty is very important to me, but not ‘brutal’ honesty.

When people criticize my best efforts I’m hurt.

I feel like “a million bucks” when I receive sincere compliments.

I am excited to motivate and encourage people

I am quite sensitive to other people’s moods and feelings.

I don’t mind doing things for others, but it helps to hear a ‘thank you’ at the end.

I like it when people congratulate my achievements.

I value praise and try to avoid criticism.

I’d rather a standing ovation than an expensive gift

Score: / 20

talk

I appreciate when others listen patiently and don’t interrupt me.

I enjoy late-night talks with my partner or close friends.

I feel appreciated when others take the time to understand my feelings.

I get a buzz that my opinion or ideas are valued

I like to understand what other people are thinking and feeling.

I feel appreciated and enthusiastic when people want to hear my stories.

I am interested in hearing other people’s stories.

I enjoy when other people come to me with their problems or can use me as a ‘sounding board’

I like when people listen to me sympathetically.

I spend a lot of time talking on the phone.

Score: / 20

ACTS OF SERVICE / HELP

Actions speak louder than words

I like to do people favors

I find it frustrating when people wait to be asked instead of realizing what needs to be done.

True friends are those whom I can trust to help me in times of trouble.

Getting help with chores or a project at work excites me

I feel significant and useful when I have done a very good job.

I believe punctuality and diligence are very important character traits.

I appreciate when people do things that they don’t enjoy doing.

I am goal oriented and like to do the best I can

I like it when others pitch in and help, especially without having to ask.

Score: / 20

TAP

A touch can say a lot

A hug from a loved one can brighten the darkest day.

I feel very hurt when people I care about physically move away from me.

I enjoy giving and receiving playful hugs, pats or pushes.

I have a fairly close personal space

I think you can tell a lot about a person from their handshake.

I don’t like it when people I interact with avoid eye contact.

I am excited to give and receive genuine smiles

I like rough housing with my friends and family.

I enjoy giving and receiving massages

Score: / 20

Total Points:

Final scores:

GIFTS = ___ points

QUALITY TIME = ___ points

PRIZE = ___ points

talk = ___ points

ACTS OF SERVICE / HELP = ___ points

TAP = ___ points

I acknowledge the work of Dr. Gary Chapman and also Ms. Susan Smith in developing this survey that I have customized and used in family and community development programs.