As unbelievable as it may sound, it really has left you. The gall of man! It’s bad enough that the relationship is over, but the fact that he ended it first makes your blood boil. You wish you had left him before he left you, but he beat you. So now you must move on with your life with grace and dignity. But how do you keep your dignity after being abandoned?

Don’t humiliate yourself and beg for a second chance! Even if you want her to come back, begging and crying usually doesn’t work in the long run. You may be tempted to promise him drastic reforms in your character and attitude if he accepts it, but this will only increase his contempt for you. To preserve your dignity, you must stop, breathe deeply, and keep the peace. Understand why she left you so you can make a concrete plan on how to move on.

Give up your desire to make him understand. They may have made unfair accusations or said nasty things when they broke up with you and you would like a chance to explain. But the truth is that everything you say now will be received with distrust since he has already made a decision about you. Anything you say now will be greeted with suspicion and it won’t do anything positive for you so leave things as they are. Changing your mind about yourself at this stage is an unworthy act of futility.

Don’t wear sackcloth and walk around with a long sad face. You may feel like you want the whole world to see your pain so that ‘they’ can sympathize with you, but this will only make you a ridiculous object and put a focus on your battered self-esteem. Cry and rage if necessary, but do so in private, as you must preserve your dignity by not having an audience that is not sympathetic to your pain.

Get the right perspective.To preserve your dignity you must realize that there is more to life than your ex. He was important to you, but he was not the sum of your life and your life is much greater than him. Right now, you may really believe that your life can’t get better, but the truth is that if you keep breathing, the pain will go away one day.

Avoid name calling and negativity. You will be tempted to hurt him with words to somehow ease your pain or just to get revenge while you can, but DO NOT give in to this temptation. As difficult as it may be, don’t pay bad for bad, but be courteous to him when you accidentally run into him. You will be presented as an elegant and dignified woman and you will feel a sense of self-respect.

Don’t let your heart get bitter. To make sense of the fact that he left you, you may be tempted to group ALL men into a negative category, but this will keep you unduly focused on him and what he did to you. If a man makes you decide that ALL men exhibit a certain negative trait, then he will dominate you for the rest of your life. He will affect all your future relationships so that you give less than you should to all your relationships. He thus invariably changes you and you become a shadow of yourself and therefore less worthy.

Know that there is nothing wrong. To preserve your dignity or self-esteem, you must realize that there is nothing wrong with it. Yes, he left you and you may have made some mistakes in the relationship as you are an imperfect human being like any other human being, but this breakup does NOT define who you are. You and him did not work, but this does not mean that you and someone else will not work in the future.

To retain your dignity after being abandoned, you must ensure that you do not lose yourself or your essence in the negativity and consequences that result from being abandoned. You are a great woman, lovable by a man who loves and respects you, so don’t lose that real and valuable perspective on yourself.