This is a calming balm designed to help those who feel they lack the unconditional love of others. Just like me, you can come to appreciate who you really are and move on with your life. Raising your own self-esteem to new levels will allow you to recover your personal values. If you do, you will establish new feelings that justify that you have a right to be here. Why am I writing this article? To help anyone who feels low self-esteem. Mental Health is an important issue today.

I am a grown man who has been mercilessly punished by my three younger brothers for decades. The reason? Because I’m different. I have been repeatedly told that I am not a good person and that I have failed everyone in my family. “You embarrass us because you talk to strangers.” It was one of his claims. “You can’t live without a partner in your life. We don’t need anyone else in our life. You’re not like us!” Is another one. “What? Do you write poems to your wife? What are you, a fagot?” it had been another…

It would seem that for some the image of a ‘real man’ is a man without a manicure. He yells at his wife at every opportunity, as does one of my brothers. He calls her every bad name under the sun, in public. I’ve seen it, it’s relentless. When someone asks a ‘real man’ for his opinion, you have to nod your head and pretend you agree, but then criticize that person the moment he turns his back on you. Instead of expressing his opinion constructively. Anyway, what has happened to our debating skills in this millennium?

I am the eldest of four children. Same parents and same traditional culture. You’d think those younger than me would be thinking in more ‘modern’ ways. But they don’t. Although they think their ethos is the most correct, I personally find it outdated. I remember once I was sitting in a cafe and there were five of us. One of my brothers had just gotten married, so his young wife was sitting with us. After the waitress took our order and walked away from her, comments started flying around the table. They sounded like, “Wow, did you see the boobs on her?” said one. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind dropping it on this table.” Observed the married. “How can you say things like that with your wife sitting next to you?” I asked. “So it will be, another sermon from the great philosopher of life! What would you know? No one wants to hear your opinion.” was his reproach.

This made me feel worthless and like I didn’t belong. As if he had done something wrong. Some may see it as a form of intimidation, but I can tell you that it really puts cracks in your armor if you don’t turn things around. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Since then I have been abroad. Even when our father died, the three of them sat together and ignored me. I mean, you’d think at a funeral some things would soften up a bit. But they weren’t. The feelings of inadequacy continue because they must punish me for who I am. I am different, first and last. Now I feel good about myself. I am comfortable in my own skin and clearly understand why others attack like this.

Let’s jump right into that! The best thing to do, as I found, is to sit alone in a quiet space with a pen and paper. Now, think about the things that make up your attributes. Try to answer the question ‘Who am I?’ listing your skills, talents, past accomplishments, dreams, and desires. It’s not so much about material possession, but more about your own personal qualities. The things you can’t put in a bottle or measure. Once listed, reread them. Ask yourself this: ‘Do I need someone to maintain these qualities in me?’ And look what happens. For starters, you’ll suddenly realize that sometimes people attack you, ignore you, or disrespect you because they can’t be as you. They don’t really understand you. So who owns the problem? That’s right, they do! I hope this message helps others who feel out of it, and feel so alone… that their mental health is affecting them.

I no longer worry about what my brothers tell me, or about me, or what they think of me. But I offer you this, you have a right to be here!